Title: Don't Think Twice
Date Posted: 15 December 2005
Author: Van Donovan
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Nathan and Adam
Pairing: Nathan/Adam
Word count: 8,693
Warnings: This is totally uncanonical Firefly RPS. You've been warned.
Summary: After the death of Adam's wife, Nathan is around to help out.
Notes: Title from a Bob Dylan song. I've never really written RPS before. I'm not even that fond of it. But this idea bit my ass and due to 's encouragement I had to write it. My disclaimer is long and ridiculous but please bear it. I feel rather wretched writing this. All the same, it's written up and the writer in me refuses to let it go unpublished. Anyway, someone's got to try to offset the deluge that is Nathan/Sean. ._. Just didn't expect it to be me. Anyway.

Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to infringe upon the privacy of any actors or their families. The characters in this story are loosely based off actors and events that may or may not have happened in these actor’s lives. I am in no way wishing harm to any actor or their family. I mean no disrespect to anyone. This is purely an entertainment piece and not to be taken seriously. It is so far removed from reality, in fact, that outside of the main character’s names, I have made up all the supporting cast. I don’t know Adam’s wife’s name, or age. I don’t know the ages or names of his children; I don’t even know their genders, besides the fact that he has at least one son. Frankly, I don’t care. If you know, please don’t tell me. If you can’t enjoy this story with these fictional creations, please don’t bother reading. I don’t usually write disclaimers like this but I want it to be absolutely clear that this is fictional and made up and has never happened (and hopefully will never happen). That being said please enjoy the story.


It was a dreary gray day in May when the red Sebring convertible pulled into the parking lot of the junior high school soccer field. It wasn’t raining but the sky was heavy and laden, as though it might open any moment and pour rain onto the players on the field. There were several ten-year-old boys dressed in a green and gold school soccer uniform already out on the field. Inside the car another boy, similarly dress, was eager to get out and join them.

Adam pulled the car into an empty stall and parked it. It was in a place where they had a great view of the field from the front window. He looked up at his son in his rearview mirror. “You all set?” he asked the boy.

Adam’s son nodded enthusiastically. “Definitely ready, dad,” he said as he squirmed in his seat. “You gonna stay in the car again for the game?”

In the front passenger seat Nathan turned around to peer at the boy. His hands rested on the seat back, hiding his face, but his eyes were wide and crazy looking. “There are crazies out there, Jack,” he stated in a goofy voice. “They might attack your dad again if he ventured out there and sat with the other folk on the bleachers.”

Jack gave Nathan a crooked grin. “Yeah, I know.” He looked at his father a moment longer and then shrugged. “He’d kick their butts, though, if they tried.”

Adam smiled and shook his head. “You’d better get out there. Looks like they’re about to start.” He adjusted his rearview mirror, bringing the soft face of a young woman seated beside Jack into his vision. “Kathleen, you’re all right?”

Kathleen smiled cheerfully at her employer. “Have any of your kids ever had any problems with me?” She shook her head. “You two just enjoy the game from in here. I’ll have my cell on if you need anything.” She reached down and picked a small nylon bag and an umbrella up from the floor of the car. “C’mon Jack, let’s go.”

Jack shook his head and laughed. “All right.” He reached over the seat to squeeze his father’s shoulder. “See you, dad.” He started to reach to Nathan to pat him too but Nathan sprang over the back of the seat and began tickling him.

Jack squealed and squirmed to get away. Nathan laughed loudly as he attacked, driving his fingers into the boy’s side for maximum tickle effect. Jack finally got his seat belt off and wriggled out the door, laughing shrilly. Nathan relented only because his prey had escaped out of his reach. “They’re good luck tickles!” he cried. “Good luck!”

Jack had a ridiculously large grin on his face as he peered back into the car. “Thanks, Uncle Nate! See you after the game!” He waved to them and then shut the door and went to meet up with Kathleen, his nanny, as they headed out to the field together.

Nathan chuckled to himself as he settled back down in his chair. “Aah, he’s so much fun to tease,” he mused to himself and stretched out.

Adam nodded in agreement. “Better watch it though, he’s gonna be bigger than you by the time he hits thirteen,” he warned softly.

Nathan shrugged. “Don’t matter. He knows I could still kick his ass.” He glanced over to Adam and grinned. “Just like you. I tease you all the time and you’ve yet to pound me into the ground.”

“Only because I don’t want the battery charges you’d probably file,” he answered with a soft tease. “You’d be a push over, anyway.”

Nathan shook his head, watching the players as they assembled out on the field. “Whatever. We both know your muscles are just for show.”

Adam adjusted his steering wheel up so his legs had more room to extend out. “I don’t use them for fighting, that’s the truth.” He tilted his sunglasses down a bit until he could make out his son on the field. “I’d hope none of my kids ever would, either, though I wonder if that isn’t just a pipe dream.”

Nathan shrugged. “With genes like yours they’ll probably end up protecting the scrawny kids from the real bullies instead. Then, they can call me up and I’ll go kick the bullies’ asses for them.”

Adam smirked at the thought. “You’d make a pretty good father,” he mused to himself. “You’re always so good with my kids.” He shifted in his seat and stared out the windshield at the soccer game getting under way before them.

Nathan nodded a little, mostly to himself. “You’ve got good kids, Adam. If they were little demonish hellspawn I might not be so friendly.” He glanced to Adam. “And if I didn’t like you so much I know I wouldn’t be so friendly to them.” He glanced about. “Now, we brought beer, didn’t we?”

Adam chuckled a bit. “Yeah; it’s in the trunk.”

“I’ll fetch this time,” Nathan stated. Then he unbuckled and got out of the car. Adam popped the trunk from inside and Nathan went around back. Inside the trunk was a single six-pack of Corona beers. They were still slightly frosted from having recently been extracted from the refrigerator at Adam’s house. Nathan picked them up by their little cardboard handle and then closed the trunk.

He smiled politely to two women who were walking past the car, headed towards the bleachers to watch the game. They paid him little mind and he walked back around the car and got back inside. He set the beer on the small console between them and picked one up and twisted the top off.

Adam followed suit and they both nursed their bottles for a bit. Beyond them, on the field, another team in blue and orange soccer uniforms joined opposite Jack’s team. It was a little hard to tell what was going on out in the distance between the two teams but they watched it anyway.

“Hey, how’s Nancy doing?” Nathan asked after a few minutes of silence.

Adam looked over to him briefly before returning his gaze to the game. “She’s good. She and Katie are at their grandmother’s this weekend. Jack wanted to go but since he had this game he couldn’t.” He took another drink from his beer.

“Yeah? Shame he had to miss out on grandmother-time.” He finished his beer off quickly and absently rolled the bottle back and forth between his fingers. “How is she doing, anyway?”

Adam was silent for a while and the air in the car seemed to get heavier the longer he was quiet. He eventually took a long pull off his beer and sighed. “It’s never easy for a mother to out live her child. Carrie’s death has been as hard on her as it has been for the kids and I, if not more since she’s almost always alone.” He looked away from the field and studied his lap. “Seeing her grandkids over the weekend is really helpful for her, though, I think.”

Nathan nodded, understanding. “They’re a handful for you, too,” he agreed.

Adam lifted his eyes up to look at Nathan’s. “I’m handling them all right,” he replied. He didn’t sound offended but almost worried, as though maybe Nathan thought he hadn’t been taking care of his three young children fine on his own.

Nathan gave him a reassuring smile. “ ‘Course you are. You’ve stopped working so you’re always home for them, and you’ve got Kathleen to watch them when you’re too tired or busy to. I think, in fact, that you’re the best damn dad I know.”

Adam nodded but didn’t seem to like that statement. “I’ve got your help, too. You’re always around these days, helping out. Everyone else just sort of faded away, after the funeral. But, you’re still here. I appreciate that, a lot. And I know the kids do too.”

Nathan studied his own lap self-consciously. “Well, you’ve got good kids, Adam.” He sighed and leaned back. “I love your kids.” He set his empty bottle on the dashboard and watched the game through the curve of the glass. “I love hanging out with you too, so it works out nicely.” He noticed Adam’s gaze was on him so he turned to look at him. “I love everything about your family,” he continued and for a moment he wasn’t entirely sure of what he was saying.

Adam was looking intently at Nathan and Nathan found that his mouth was moving without him exactly supplying it with words. Adam had that ability, sometimes, to just stop his brain from processing. Usually it was after he’d said something particularly funny or stupid but other times it was just after a particularly intense look. Nathan found that it was just a look affecting him now.

Adam was staring at him with adoration in his eyes; he was truly appreciative of the way Nathan had come into his family after the unexpected death of his wife. Nathan had been there from the first day and he hadn’t faded away like so many of the other mourners had. “I love how much you love your family,” Nathan continued, his voice trailing a bit, getting softer.

“And I love—” he realized he was about to say ‘you’ and was aware of how wildly inappropriate that was going to sound coming from him. He turned away quickly and stared at the dash again, thinking frantically for something to supply instead of ‘you.’ His eyes fell upon the seek button on the radio and he said, without much thought, “this song on the radio.”

Adam let out a small breath of air. He was silent for a moment and seemed to intentionally let the silence stretch on until it rang hollow between them. When Nathan didn’t look away from the radio or correct his statement Adam softly said, “The radio isn’t on, Nathan.”

“It is now,” Nathan quickly countered and his hand shot out to turn it on.

Adam’s hand went out just as fast, covering Nathan’s and turning the radio off as quickly as it had been turned on, using Nathan’s fingers to do it. When their hands touched Nathan sucked in his breath and quickly jerked his hand back, like he’d been burnt. Adam left his hand hovering near the control dial for a few long moments.

He didn’t look up at Nathan for several seconds, contemplating what he was going to say. He could hear Nathan’s heavier breathing and knew that if he didn’t gather his words fast, Nathan would start cracking jokes again, like he had the last time this type of situation had arisen. “I can guess,” he finally stated into the silence. “You don’t have to say it.”

The silence lengthened again but this time not even Nathan’s breathing punctuated it; he had taken to holding his breath. Adam finally risked the chance and looked over to Nathan to try to gauge his reaction based solely on his face.

The expressions he found there were surprise and seriousness but also a little bit of confusion, like Nathan didn’t know what it was that Adam could guess. Nathan came to quickly realize that Adam was looking at him though and his gaze softened as he met Adam’s eyes. There seemed to be no adverse reaction from Adam, either, so Nathan was able to hold the gaze longer than he had expected. His expression shifted as he figured out what it was Adam could guess; a faint look of disbelief and hope replaced the previous, conflicting emotions.

After several seconds Nathan’s eyes shifted to take in the rest of Adam’s features: the fine dusting of hair across his face, the thicker, neatly trimmed beard and moustache that shaped into a goatee on his chin, his fine nose, the small scar on his cheek, his nice thin lips and then he was looking back into his startling blue eyes. Against his own will he found himself drawn into that gaze.

It wasn’t like he’d never seen Adam’s eyes before. He’d even stared intently into them in the past. He’d even wanted to kiss Adam before and had gotten rather close to it on a number of occasions. None of those times had Adam even seemed overly adverse to it, although Nathan knew that it was because in those instances Adam was confident that Nathan was joking around.

He wasn’t playing now.

His lips were against Adam’s before he even was conscious of making the decision to go forth with it. It was probably a good thing because if the thought had registered he would have screamed abort! abort! in his mind long before he’d gotten this far. He pulled back after moment, once the action was done, and lowered his gaze enough so he could see Adam’s mouth but not his eyes.

The car was still and absolutely silent. Adam said nothing and didn’t move. He didn’t jerk away or curse Nathan out, either; he just sat there with his eyes open, looking at Nathan’s forehead.

Having started and not received an adverse reaction from Adam, Nathan found he wanted more. A faint brush of their lips together didn’t really constitute anything. Since Adam wasn’t pulling away, or otherwise telling him not to proceed, Nathan returned. He shifted in his seat a little, moving closer to Adam.

This time he closed his eyes when he pressed his lips against Adam’s and pushed into him, making what he was doing official and intentional. There would be no mistaking it, this time. He turned his head just enough that he could move his mouth against Adam’s, to try to work the kiss into being something real. In a moment, as though encouraged by the feeling of Nathan’s mouth moving against his own, Adam responded at last.

He kissed back.

It felt warm and inviting, welcoming and curious. It was unlike anything Nathan had imagined kissing Adam would be like. It lasted far longer than he had hoped to expect it would. Then it was over, just as fast. They stayed close, at first. It was close enough that Nathan could feel Adam’s breath washing over his lips and smell the faint scent of lime and beer wafting off Adam’s breath. For the moment he kept his eyes closed, fearing what he might see when he opened them.

Adam moved back from him after a few seconds. Nathan could tell without opening his eyes because the warm breath went away and he could hear Adam’s body shifting in his seat. When Adam spoke his voice was soft enough that it didn’t stand out against the deep silence in the car. “We’re at my son’s soccer game.”

Nathan’s eyes opened then and he took in Adam’s face. It was still gentle and serene, like he had gotten used to seeing. There was none of the anger he had feared. There was a sadness to Adam that hadn’t gone away since Carrie’s death but there was no anger there. There was a look of faint confusion on his brow but nothing repellent. “Shut up and drive back to your place then,” he huskily said.

For the longest time Adam didn’t move. He just sat there with his hand on the gearshift and his eyes fixed on Nathan’s. Outside the soccer game played on and the audience cheered for a goal that neither of them witnessed. Adam’s face showed no sign of processing but after a lengthy stretch of time he turned his head away from Nathan’s, breaking their eye contact. He didn’t say anything.

His hand just went to the keys in the ignition of the car and turned them. The Sebring purred to life. His hand was pulling the car out of park and into reverse before Nathan even realized what was happening. By the time Adam had the car out of the parking spot and navigating through the lot, Nathan was grinning unabashedly to himself.

Adam’s house was not more than ten minutes away but it took him five minutes of silence before he seemed to find his voice. His hand went to his pocket and he pulled out his cell phone, not once looking at or addressing Nathan. He pressed a speed dial button and when someone picked up on the other side he said, “Going home for a bit, we’ll be back before the end of the game.”

He listened to the voice on the other line a moment longer and then said, “All right. See you later. Bye.” Then he hung up the phone and put it away. His eyes betrayed him as he finally glanced over to Nathan. When he caught sight of the smile the other man was wearing he put a tiny one on himself. “This is insane,” he stated.

Nathan put his eyes on the road. “Just keep driving,” he replied quickly but hoped his tone sounded reassuring.

Adam didn’t complain, or even say anything. He just drove. It didn’t take long at all for him to pull into the driveway of his house. He parked the car and shut off the engine quickly and then just sat.

Nathan glanced at him and then got out of the car. He wasn’t going to sit there and stare and feel awkward. Once he was to the front door Adam basically had no choice but to get out and unlock it to let him in.

Once inside the large home, the tension diffused a little. Adam immediately set his keys on the foyer table and stalked through to the den where the wet bar stood. Nathan watched him casually. He wasn’t in the mood for hard liquor but he knew it’d limber them both up a lot faster than more beer would.

By the time he walked over to the bar Adam had already poured two shots of bourbon. Nathan took one but just held on to it for a while. He watched as Adam tossed his shot back and then refilled his glass. “No need to get drunk, you know,” he easily said.

Adam peered up at him with one of his wilting glances. “Might help,” he countered as he came out from behind the bar. He still had the bourbon bottle in his hand and circled around to sit on the large white couch in the room.

“Not in the long run it won’t,” Nathan replied and turned a little to follow Adam’s progress but remained standing.

Adam knocked back the second shot and then promptly refilled the glass and set the bottle on the coffee table. It was clear that although Adam had things he wanted to say that nothing was coming to his lips. He just sat there and stared up at Nathan, his gaze rather expectant.

Due to that, there wasn’t much else Nathan felt he could do. So he downed his shot of liquid courage and advanced quickly on Adam. Setting the glass on the lamp table with one hand, the other grabbed Adam by the shirt and dragged him up towards him, into another crushing kiss.

It seemed Adam had just been waiting for Nathan to make the first move because once he was being kissed again he responded accordingly. He languidly rose to his feet and leaned into Nathan. His free hand came in and grabbed possessively at Nathan’s hip, drawing him even closer.

Nathan shifted gears and started on the offensive more, pressing up hard against Adam’s body and feeling the way he reacted to the pressure. The contact made Adam’s mouth stop working against his. He didn’t quite groan but the open mouthed gape was incentive enough for Nathan to keep it up. He shifted his hands to hold on to Adam, keeping him close, and turned his head to start kissing at his neck.

Adam let out a low hissing sound as he tilted his head aside to let Nathan have room to work. The hand on Nathan’s back tightened, clutching at the fabric of his shirt. Then a sharp cold wetness spread over his lower back and the scent of bourbon filled the room. Adam’s eyes snapped open. “Shit,” he cursed.

Nathan stepped back, away from him, confusion heavy in his eyes. He immediately caught on to the now empty shot glass in Adam’s hand that the other man was forlornly staring at. The cold feeling of bourbon dripping down his back made him laugh. “Well, that was unexpected.”

Adam quickly put his glass down and looked almost miserable as he stared at Nathan. “I didn’t mean,” he started and then trailed off. “I’ll get a towel.”

Nathan shook his head and laughed. “Don’t bother.” He quickly raised his hands and pulled his shirt off over his head, crumpled it into a ball and held on to it. He hesitated a moment and then raised his eyes to look up at Adam. He followed up with a grin. “Guess I’ll just go wash this real quick?”

Adam didn’t say anything he just nodded, clearly trying not to stare.

Nathan’s grin grew wider and he turned away from the other man and headed off to the master bathroom to rinse out his shirt, and maybe to take a little shower himself.

He was gone only five or six minutes but when he returned to the living room where he’d left Adam, he was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. His clothes were left behind him somewhere in the bathroom, and all he had in his hands was a tube of what he proudly displayed to Adam as KY Jelly. “Done this before?” he asked eagerly.

Adam’s face actually flushed a small bit as he got to his feet upon Nathan’s return. His reply was quick. “Not with a guy,” he grunted deeply.

Nathan couldn’t help but grin at this and mostly at Adam’s charming discomfort. “Well, that ought to make this a little easier, at least.” He advanced again, playing both coy and seductive. “Hope you don’t mind that I snooped a bit to find it.”

Adam tilted his head a little, keeping careful control of his body while he watched Nathan advance. “Not minding so much, right now,” he answered, his voice low and almost husky. “Maybe I will later.” He let his gaze trail over Nathan’s body, along his broad shoulders and chest, down to where the towel clung to his still slightly damp body.

Nathan chuckled and came to a halt standing in front of Adam. “This too much?” he asked although his tone was playful.

Adam didn’t reply; he just stood there staring at Nathan as though to answer would somehow seal his fate one way or another.

Nathan glanced down and suddenly laughed. Adam’s pants were tenting and he was starting to look rather uncomfortable in them. It was all the encouragement Nathan needed though. He raised his eyes back up to his face. “That answers that.” He held onto the tube in his hand but threw his arm over Adam’s shoulder and swooped back down for some more necking.

Adam was stiff and unyielding for a period of time while Nathan worked his mouth against the side of his neck. Then his hands slowly rose to rest on Nathan’s hips and he started pulling him closer as he allowed himself to get into it more. Nathan pressed him against the couch, which Adam managed to resist. “Bed,” he grunted after a few seconds, shifting to start to his feet.

Nathan nodded rather eagerly and began pulling Adam up by his shirt. Adam followed easily though they never completely separated from kissing for the walk down the hall. Nathan, who was traveling backwards, stumbled a few times but Adam held him up when he almost fell.

Nathan pushed the master bedroom door open with his hip and started to pull Adam inside. It was only then that Adam froze up a little. His eyes had drifted to his large bed with its fancy green and white designer comforter and multitude of throw pillows and he tensed. “Not on my wife’s bed,” he stated thickly.

Nathan turned to look over his shoulder at it and then nodded, acceptingly. His hands loosened from around Adam’s collar, figuring that thinking of his wife would have done it for Adam. Whatever they’d started was likely over now.

It wasn’t though, and Adam quickly pushed out of the bedroom and continued down the hall, heading for the guest room. Nathan followed, surprised, and soon found himself slammed up against the wall when as he entered the guest bedroom. Adam attacked with his mouth and tongue and let his body rub against Nathan’s. Whatever reservations Adam had had seemed to have had slipped away inside the spare room. Nathan found he didn’t mind at all and kissed back just as fiercely. He was definitely on the losing end of the battle, though it was a loss he wasn’t opposed to taking.

He put his hands up against Adam’s chest and started unbuttoning his shirt. It fell open after a few moments and Nathan pushed it off Adam’s shoulders before Adam seemed to even realize what Nathan was doing.

For a moment Adam broke the kiss to take the time to look down at his open shirt as Nathan worked it off him. He shrugged a bit and it fluttered to the floor. Then his eyes rose to meet Nathan’s intense gaze. Nathan gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s good,” he encouraged, sensing some of Adam’s fears starting to rise again as his clothing was officially starting to come off.

Nathan raised his hands to Adam’s shoulders and tugged him. He turned Adam around so that Nathan was walking backwards towards the bed, pulling Adam along after him by his belt loops. It was done in such a way though, that despite Nathan leading, he was the one who fell onto the bed on his back when they arrived. His grip was strong enough that he pulled Adam down on top of him when he fell.

For a moment it seemed liked Adam was going to freeze up and potentially freak out by their new horizontal position, but he didn’t. Instead he seemed to be revitalized by the shift in stance and his face turned to the side, his lips brushing against Nathan’s ear, and he began to kiss him there, whiskers scratchy soft against his lobe. One of his knees bent, nudging between Nathan’s legs and his mouth trailed from his ear to his throat. Whatever fears he had previously had seemed to have melted away now that he found he was in an easily dominate position and able to assume the prominent role.

“Yeah,” Nathan groaned a little as he wriggled on the bed a bit beneath him. “That’s it,” he encouraged and had to hold himself from laughing as Adam’s rough beard tickled against his throat. He kept the soft encouragement up though, attempting to keep Adam going as well as to remind him whom it was he was kissing. “God, yeah.”

Adam’s mouth traveled lower, to work on Nathan’s neck where he both suckled and bit softly at the flesh there. Nathan enjoyed it and said as much, vocally. While Adam worked with his mouth, Nathan worked with his hands. His towel had already almost entirely slipped off of him and he felt it unfair to be undressed while Adam still wore his pants. So he worked as best he could from beneath, unbuttoning Adam’s trousers.

When he had enough room he slipped his hand down inside the fabric and cupped. This caused a loud rush of air to eject from Adam’s mouth in surprise. He bit harder on Nathan’s neck than he likely intended to. Nathan only grinned and turned his cupping hand into a softly rubbing one.

Adam growled in the back of his throat and lifted his hips a little so Nathan’s hand had more free range. Dropping the tube on the bed Nathan used his other hand to work Adam’s pants off his hips.

It wasn’t long before together the two of them had pulled Adam’s jeans off, along with his boxers. He kept himself raised on his knees but beyond a space of air there was nothing separating them anymore. For a moment all the touching and kissing ceased as Adam opened his eyes and stared down at Nathan beneath him. He studied the other man’s face for a lengthy period of time and then quietly said, “You’re sure you want me to do this?”

Nathan held his gaze for several seconds before he broke into a soft grin. “Are you serious?” he asked in an amused tone. “I mean, if you don’t I’m calling someone else to come and finish the job.” He flashed a bright grin up at him.

Adam had to smile at the comment. The expression was bordering on sheepish, which was a rarity for Adam. “Guess I’ve no choice then,” he mused.

Nathan reached a hand up between them, found Adam’s erection and pulled it down to roll it against his own. He held his breath a bit, raising his neck so he didn’t groan from it and just answered. “No choice,” he agreed.

Adam let out a deep, almost feral sounding growl as Nathan’s hand worked the both of them. He bowed his head to Nathan’s throat and bit there again, rather hard. His hips shifted against the hand. His arms, which were pressed into the bed on either side of Nathan’s head, finally rose up.

One went down to touch Nathan’s left thigh, his palm lying flat against the skin, covering it. He seemed to be inching towards Nathan’s hand but was slow getting there.

“C’mon,” Nathan encouraged in a low, throaty voice. “That’s good,” he added and gave them both a firm squeeze as he resisted thrusting his own hips. “C’mon, Adam,” he cheered wantonly.

Adam seemed to respond well to the accolades Nathan was purring at him and his fingers finally came between them, brushing against their erections briefly. He felt his own, nudging Nathan’s fingers aside for a bit but when his hand wrapped around Nathan’s as well he seemed to freeze up a little, like he didn’t know what to do now that he had a hold of it.

His eyes opened and stared watery blue down into Nathan’s, a questioning look forming there. There was only so long they were going to last rubbing their bodies together like that. “Nathan,” he managed to say and there was almost a hint of fear in his voice. Adam had probably never touched another man’s cock in a sexual manner before and he was clearly finding it a difficult thing to process, despite the intensity of the situation.

“It’s just a cock,” Nathan replied easily. His fingers wrapped over Adam’s and held his hand there, holding both of them in place. He pressed his lips together for a moment to take in the strong sensation of the moment and then added, in a breathier voice, “It’s just an extension of your own.”

Nathan eased his hand off his own body and let his fingers wrap around just Adam’s. He grinned as Adam mimicked him, only instead wrapped his hand around Nathan. “Good, that’s it,” he encouraged roughly and began to pull, softly at first, against Adam. “Yeah,” he agreed as Adam copied him. His eyes fluttered close for a few moments. “Mmhmmm,” he grunted and found that the more he pleased Adam the more he was getting it in return.

Adam was a quick study and seemed to know that if he treated Nathan like he would treat himself he’d get equal play in response. From the sounds he was making in the back of his throat at it all, it seemed he was enjoying it a lot, too.

Nathan’s free hand stretched out a bit and fumbled in the sheets. He grasped onto the tube he’d brought into the room and clumsily tried to open it with one hand while he worked the other hand against Adam and tried not to get carried away on the way Adam’s hand was making him feel. It was a lot to concentrate on. “Mmnn, so good,” he groaned. The cap screwed off and he let it fall onto the bed, forgotten. “Next,” he added, encouragingly.

He sat up a little, propping up with his elbow, and raised the tube, drawing attention to it. There was no subtle way around what he expected to happen next so he wasn’t going to try to be sly about it. He pulled his hand free from Adam and squeezed some of the slippery contents out, into his palm. His eyes rose to look at Adam and when they connected he reached his hand out and found Adam’s.

There he rubbed his hand against Adam’s, feeling the heat and friction of their skin melt away as the lube coated their fingers. Adam’s voice was thick and husky when he spoke, “Should’ve brought the bourbon in here,” he said and might have gone and fetched it if he’d thought his legs would have held him.

Nathan grinned crookedly and was glad they hadn’t brought it—he had no desire to get Adam drunk just to have sex with him, least of all because they still had to go back to the soccer game when they were done here. His hand let go of Adam’s for a moment and rose to slick down Adam’s length. He shifted his weight and applied more of the lube to his palm and then easily transferred it to Adam, who didn’t seem to mind the touching in the least.

Nathan pushed all other thoughts aside and raised his knees instead, trying to guide Adam’s hands down between him.

He put one hand around Adam’s wrist as he got Adam’s hand between his legs. He pressed forward, until Adam’s fingers touched against him. Their eyes met again and Nathan had to smile at the faint traces of fear he saw in Adam’s eyes. “It’s all right,” he whispered and used his own finger to slick the way, first. Adam’s hand was stilled there, touching but not pressing. Nathan turned his head to the side. “I don’t have to spell this out for you, do I?” he asked.

Adam seemed to rise out of a reverie and he shook his head. “No,” he answered easily and as he did his fingers went to work, slowly but very purposefully pressing into Nathan’s skin. It was apparent almost immediately that although perhaps Adam had never done this with another man before he had done it before and was fairly apt at it.

Nathan had expected more discomfort at first as well as more clumsiness and hesitation on Adam’s part but it wasn’t like that. He was eager enough and relaxed enough from the shower that there was little resistance at first. Adam was gentle and methodical too, rubbing and pressing evenly in tandem so that Nathan’s body was able to easily relax to the feeling.

Still, the first insertion was tight and it took some slow coaxing on Adam’s part to get him quite used to it. Nathan’s hand rose up and in it he still gripped the tube of lube. He grinned as best he could and handed it to Adam. Adam took it with his free hand and applied more. When this was done Nathan’s knees rose up further and Adam’s ministrations came home.

Nathan eyes closed tightly while Adam worked and for a period his mind wandered, drifting lazily into thoughts elsewhere, not present, so his body wasn’t concentrating on the feelings below his waist. He wasn’t sure how long it took but there was a brief pause while Adam figured things out on his own. It was slow and even, which Nathan’s body was rather grateful for, but the leisurely pace of it was also maddening.

He felt the cold application of yet more lube and then he felt Adam shifting, getting to his knees. The fingers departed for the briefest of moments and Nathan tried, very hard, not to tense again as he felt Adam get into position. He held his breath as the first bit of a new pressure was applied and then, surprisingly, he found himself yielding to the older man completely.

His eyes flew open as Adam pushed in and he drank in the expression of tight concern and desire that he saw written all over Adam’s face. His eyes were tightly closed as he worked but Nathan could see that he was holding himself back with some difficulties so that he’d not move too fast and hurt Nathan.

Nathan’s hands went up and clutched at the thick, tensed muscles in Adam’s back. “Fuck me,” he hissed gruffly. He appreciated the kindness but, really, the slowness was almost more torturing than speed would have been. He knew what to expect and he was relatively prepared. It would be easier to get to the pleasure part of all of this if they got the pain part out of the way faster. He clenched his teeth and wrinkled his nose and lips as he worked his hips and thrust against Adam, drawing him in. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Adam let out a choked sounding moan and then reacted accordingly. A burning, almost searing pain shot through Nathan and he hissed long and hard at it. “Good, good,” Nathan gurgled, not even sure if the words were sounding right anymore He was trying to keep up a litany of praise, although his mind was starting to scatter his thoughts. “So fucking good.”

One of Adam’s hands came up and pressed down on Nathan’s shoulder, keeping him pinned in place while he worked his hips, pulling out of Nathan just enough that he could go back in with a degree of better leverage.

The burning pain felt like Nathan was being cleaved in two and, despite the careful preparation, it wasn’t going away like he remembered it had in the past. His fingers fell to the bed and clutched ineffectually at the sheets. He started to squirm, trying to make it all work out, but the movement didn’t help too much; Adam had him pinned down too well. His mouth opened, to gasp or cry out, but no sound issued forth. His spine tensed as he curved it, taking in the pain and trying to reconcile it.

Adam pulled out again, a fraction of an inch, and then the pain returned with him, tight and burning hot. Nathan’s throat betrayed him and a weak whimper leaked out. Adam’s eyes flew open at it and he drank in Nathan’s pained expression. The soft encouragements Nathan had been feeding him had ceased and now he was whimpering, his eyes tightly closed. It was enough to concern Adam. “Y’okay?” he asked in a slur as he tried to still his eager body.

Nathan pressed his lips together tightly to cut off his voice and opened his eyes to look up at Adam. Every pour in his body was screaming at him to stop, to abort, but he just nodded his head, implying everything was all right, and tried to silently encourage Adam to continue. He knew, eventually, it would turn into pleasure. At least, he desperately hoped Adam would get there, and soon.

“Hold on,” Adam grunted and his hands moved, gripping Nathan’s hips. He lifted them easily, raising Nathan’s backside off the bed. He pushed Nathan’s legs forward and got into a position so Nathan could drape them over his shoulders. And from that angle he took careful assessment of the situation, like he was about to fire a gun into a bull’s eye, and then quickly drove it home.

Nathan’s eyes rolled up into his head in delight as Adam hit it and his grip on the sheets loosened just a little. He let out a deep groan of satisfaction and bit his lower lip as Adam found his rhythm and worked it. “Fuck,” Nathan hissed as Adam rocked into him. He pulled one hand off the sheets and lifted it up until it found his length, which was practically slapping against his abdomen as Adam toiled.

His fingers wrapped around it and he started pulling on it in conjunction with Adam’s thrusts. It worked amazingly well and before he was quite ready for it he felt Adam tensing up and releasing. His nose wrinkled at the feeling and at the additional spurt as Adam ran dry. Nathan’s back arched even more from where he was, already a few inches off the bed, balanced mostly on his shoulders. His hand pulled harder on his length and then he felt Adam’s weight shift as he slipped out.

After a second he was back flat on the bed and Adam’s hand was taking over for his own, any hesitancy Adam had had about touching someone else’s cock apparently gone now. It was quite a change in feeling as someone else took a hold of him, much more intense and enjoyable.

Nathan let his body go completely limp as Adam worked him. It didn’t take long at all before there was bliss and white light, and then it was over. He’d practically been there to begin with; Adam’s administrations had just pushed him over the edge.

He felt light and soft and rather pleasantly numb, and for a while he couldn’t even manage a contented grin. He felt Adam’s heavy weight flop down onto the bed beside him but didn’t bother to turn to look at him.

For several long minutes they both just laid there, drinking in the intoxicating sensation of what they’d just done. Then, once feeling started returning to him, he lolled his head to the side and opened his eyes to look at Adam. For a moment all he saw was the other man’s profile. His eyes were lightly closed and his lips slightly parted as he caught his breath and came down off his high.

Nathan rolled over, away from Adam, to grab a handful of tissues from the box on the nightstand and used them to wipe his hands and chest down. He threw the soiled items on the floor and turned back to look at Adam again.

The movement had caused Adam to come to and he was now looking at Nathan when Nathan opened his eyes again. There was a moment they just sort of stared at one another, as if seeing each other for the first time. Then Nathan broke into a bright grin. Adam’s smile started out small and almost shy but that gentle sort of expression on Adams’ face just caused Nathan to laugh.

Nathan’s amusement made Adam smile more and before either of them knew it they were laughing loudly, staring at one another. It took a few seconds for them to settle though they both eventually did with big, content sighs. “I could sure use another drink about now,” Nathan mused softly.

Adam lifted his head slightly, looking at the still open guest room door as if trying to judge whether or not he could make it out to the living room to retrieve the bottle of bourbon. “Mmm,” he groaned happily instead.

Nathan shook his head. “Best not be drinking more now, anyway,” he stated, countering his own desires; his voice sounded slow and heavy. “Gotta pick up Jack soon.”

Adam’s brow furrowed at this thought and then he closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah,” he said and his voice sounded almost far away, like he had just woken up. “Right.” Adam moved to sit up and let out his breath as he did. One hand went up to touch his sweaty brow and then he studied his it, curiously. He followed up with a bemused smirk. “I think I need a shower, first,” he stated.

Nathan grinned lazily, fighting down any vestiges of embarrassment and nodded. “Like hell.” He flopped his arm over his chest and sighed, pleased. “I need one too.” He glanced over at Adam then and quickly added, “But you go on and get yours done first. I need to just . . . lie here a while longer.”

Adam looked Nathan over slowly, taking in his entire prone form. Then he nodded. “You’re all right?” he asked, concern apparent in his voice.

“Mmm?” Nathan asked as he had apparently almost drifted off. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just need a little recoup time. I’ll shower in a bit and perk right back up.”

Adam studied Nathan a bit longer, making sure he was telling the truth and then nodded. “All right,” he said warily, “but if you’re lying to me . . .” but he trailed off because Nathan had already drifted off again. He clearly just needed a little nap.

When Adam came back from his shower, Nathan had curled onto his side and was sleeping contentedly. He had half a mind to just throw a blanket over him and leave him there while he went and picked up Jack. There was a certain comfortable domestic quality to that action that appealed to Adam. He debated it while he cleaned up the room, putting away the lube and throwing away the used tissues. Once that was done, and the bottle and glasses in the den had been put away, he opted to wake Nathan.

Nathan would have to shower eventually and it would just be all around less curious if he did so before Kathleen and Jack were back home. “Rise and shine,” Adam said gently as he shook Nathan by the shoulder like he did when he woke his son for school. “Time to get up, Nate.”

Nathan groaned and blinked ruddily up at Adam. Then his thoughts congealed and he put on a sleepy grin. “Hey,” he drowsily said. He stretched lightly and rolled onto his back. This he followed up with an impressive yawn.

“Hate to rush you but we’ve got to hustle; the game’s almost over.” Adam offered a hand out to help Nathan up.

Nathan took it and got to a sitting position and tried not to look pained. “All right,” he said casually. “I’ll go.” He looked over his shoulder at the hall that led to the bathroom. “Just holler at me if I’m taking too long.” Gingerly he got to his feet and winced.

Adam watched him, concernedly. “You all right?”

Nathan nodded quickly. “Just a bit sore. Happens, you know, after fucking like that.” He gave Adam a critical glare but his eyes remained playful. “Especially with guys as fucking well endowed as you.”

Adam had to grin at that. “I’m sorry,” he started but Nathan waved him into silence.

“Forget about it. I was the one who seduced you, after all. I knew what I was getting into.” He staggered toward the hall and leaned against the doorway for a bit, stretching out. “It’s just been a while, for me.” His eyes swept over Adam and he grinned broader. “Wasn’t really expecting such a welcoming response from you, either.”

Adam straightened his spine and nodded a bit, watching him. “Well, it’s been a while for me too.” He studied Nathan for a bit and then looked away from him. “Hurry it up, then.” He got up and pushed past Nathan, heading out to the living room.

Nathan watched him go, feeling a vaguely sinking sensation as it boiled up inside him. He headed down the hall to the master bedroom and shut the bathroom door behind him. Feverishly he hoped that what they’d just done wouldn’t completely destroy their friendship.

By the time he finished showering and redressing, his shirt still damp from his attempts to rinse it, he found that he could tolerate the dull pain enough to walk without looking like he’d just gotten off of a four-hour horse ride. He discovered Adam waiting for him by the front door and the two of them headed out to the car immediately, without even exchanging any words.

By the time they arrived back at the school field, the soccer game had already ended. Jack had been talking with a few of his friends, so their absence wasn’t too terribly missed, but the boy did hurry over once he saw them arrive. “Hey, dad!” he called as he reached the car. “Where’d you guys go?”

Nathan leaned forward in the passenger seat. “Hey, Jack! Your dad and I just went out to grab some beers.” He waved the bottle he’d drunk earlier in the day at the boy. “You’ll get to experience that joy when you’re older. How was the game?”

Jack grinned at the two men in the car. “Glad you missed it then, we lost, rather spectacularly.” He looked over his shoulder at his teammates and laughed, embarrassed at their colossal failure.

Adam leaned forward. “I feel really bad that I missed the end of your game, Jack,” he said with such sincerity that Nathan felt far more guilty for taking Adam away from his son than for what they’d done while back at his house.

Jack just grinned, though, and disarmed them both. “Don’t worry about it. It was a really bad game. It started drizzling but the coach wouldn’t cancel it.” He smirked. “You’ve never missed a game before, anyway. I think you’re allowed to partially miss a really lousy one.”

Adam managed a tiny smile at this and then shook his head. “I still feel bad.”

Overhead the sky rumbled and Jack quickly scanned the gray clouds. “It’s gonna rain,” he commented and opened the back car door and clamored inside. Kathleen, who had been standing nearby, followed suit. “Seriously, dad, don’t sweat it.” He buckled up and looked out the window. “You’ve got enough on your mind as it is.”

Nathan looked over at Jack and gave him a winning smile before he returned his gaze to Adam. “I won’t do that again,” he softly stated, his voice full of conviction.

That caused Adam to turn to meet Nathan’s gaze. They held one another’s eyes for several moments before Adam shook his head. “Don’t apologize,” he replied softly. He didn’t elaborate though, just put the car into drive and pulled away from the soccer field. They continued on in silence, for the most part, punctuated only occasionally by Jack recounting some of the particularly worst moments of the game.

It was raining steadily by the time they pulled up, back at Adam’s house. Kathleen ushered Jack inside under her umbrella and the two men just sat in the car in silence for a while. The eagerness and tenseness of the feelings that had been present in the car while sitting in the driveway only a short time before were long since dispersed. The only noise was the rain as it fell and the occasional swish of the windshield wipers. Nathan looked out the window at his car parked further down the driveway.

“Guess I’d better go, huh?” he rather rhetorically questioned into the silence. He didn’t want to but he felt there was really no other choice to make.

Adam’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. He lifted his eyes off the dash and fixed them on Nathan. There was a moment where he studied the other man closely but then he turned to stare out the windshield at his closed garage. Thickly, he answered, “I’d like you to stay for dinner.”

Nathan turned to look at Adam critically. Seeing that Adam wasn’t lying or trying to force the awkwardness away in lieu of maintaining the friendship, he curved into a bright smile. “I’d like to,” he quietly agreed. “If you’re really all right with it?”

Adam’s expression softened on him, turning warm and welcoming and he inclined his head a little. “I am. I really am. So, please stay?”

Nathan nodded and smiled genuinely. “I will; don’t need to think twice about that.”

.the end.

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